Most of the time, the main characters in stoner movies just aren’t thinking clearly. They make poor decisions. They just want to get high. They’re still high from last night. It’s time for them to get high again. However over the course of these films, certain characters offer up some pretty enlightening insights. Here are 10 great quotes from some of our favorite stoner movies.
10 Great Quotes from Stoner Movies
Queue up one of these classics, light up and follow along. Brush up on these quotes and impress your friends—stoner or otherwise.
Dazed and Confused (1993)
Slater: “Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man, and everyday George would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he come in the door, man, she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man.”
Easy Rider (1969)
Billy: “No, man, like hey, man. Wow. I was watching this object man, li-like the satellite that we saw the other night, right? And, like, it was going right across the sky, man, and then… I mean it just suddenly, uh, it just changed direction and went whizzin right off, man. It flashed.”
Up In Smoke (1978)
Pedro: “Hey how am I driving, man?” Man Stoner: “I think we’re parked.”
Half Baked (1998)
Thurgood: “I don’t do drugs, though. Just weed.”
Smokey: “I know you don’t smoke weed, I know this; but I’m gonna get you high today, ’cause it’s Friday; you ain’t got no job… and you ain’t got sh*t to do.”
Super Troopers (2001)
College Boy 2: “You must have eaten like 100 bucks worth of pot, and like 30 bucks worth of shrooms man. So I’m gonna need that 130 bucks, you know, whenever you get a chance.”
Pineapple Express (2008)
Red: “I’m trying to decide how stoned I am and just how on the verge of death am I right now. Like, am I seeing sh*t because I’m stoned, or because I have no blood left in my body?”
Brian: Get some sour cream and onion chips with some dip, man, some beef jerky, some peanut butter. Get some Häagen-Dazs ice cream bars, a whole lot, make sure chocolate, gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, red popcorn, graham crackers, graham crackers with marshmallows, the little marshmallows and little chocolate bars and we can make s’mores, man. Also, celery, grape jelly, Cap’n Crunch with the little Crunch berries, pizzas. We need two big pizzas, man, everything on ’em, with water, whole lotta water, and Funyons.
Carl: “This is a hybrid. This is a cross of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff.”
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)
Jay: “Yo! You guys need to turn those frowns upside down. And I got just the thing for that.”